Want to be the best groom ever?
Being a groom has many pressures and responsibilities; however, your wedding itself can be a great fun day, provided it has been planned well.
Brides-to-be are typically the ones to take on most of the wedding planning, and whilst this may still be the case, planning has become increasingly shared, as with many other traditional gender roles in modern life.
Recent surveys suggest that planning a wedding is more stressful as an experience for men than women and so with this in mind following are tips for you if you are currently planning your wedding.
Remember, each wedding is as unique as the couple getting married – speak to your partner about what she expects and wants from you and what you expect from her.
You should offer to get involved from the start. There are many aspects you should be involved with in the early stages of the planning, including the date of the wedding, the budget, ceremony details, the guest list, the venue (obviously, for a great wedding, you will choose our venue, The White Hart!), and accommodation for your guests.
These are the key decisions that can cause a lot of stress without having been discussed adequately.
Whilst traditionally the day is all about the Bride, if you are involved in planning and using your imagination, you are more likely to have a great wedding day, and your enthusiasm for the wedding should come across to your bride-to-be.
Offer to help arrange appointments with vendors and suppliers (or speak to us about this). If your bride-to-be has a Pinterest board (or something similar), take a look to get an idea of what she likes before you start making calls and decisions.
You can also talk to her close friends if you want any extra advice about how to help – a candid response can prove useful for your initial decision-making.
There are often quite a few mundane jobs (like stuffing invites in envelopes or compiling the responses to these), so don’t shy away from any of these tasks – your help will be noted and appreciated.
Bear in mind that the big day will come sooner than you think. For example, make sure that you leave enough time for getting tuxes fitted (particularly if any of the groomsmen aren’t in the same town as you).
A wedding can be quite stressful anyway, so don’t leave anything to the last minute. This also means you can focus more time on your bride-to-be as you are closing in on the date. This kind of support will go a long way, so bear it in mind from the start of planning your wedding.
This should be self-explanatory. But for those grooms in the back of the room, do NOT do it.
Don’t even ask unless the ex happens to be a best friend of your future wife (and yes, that stuff does happen sometimes in life, although let’s face it, it’s pretty rare).
Plan a surprise or two on the wedding day. Maybe arrange with the chief bridesmaid to give her a love poem from you whilst she is preparing for the big day (perhaps before she has had her make-up done if it’s going to be emotional!!)
You can always leave a nice present underneath the bridal suite pillow (obviously nothing that’s too easily squashed!!).
Surprises don’t need to be expensive. It’s truly the thought that counts.
Whilst any groom-to-be will have realised that there is always an element of stress on the big day, bear in mind that many women have thought about this day all their lives.
If things aren’t perfect, remind her that the day is also about the rest of your lives together. If a few details aren’t exactly as you or she wanted them, it doesn’t need to detract from the whole day’s success.
Bear in mind that many couples do not end up having sex on their wedding night. This is actually quite normal after weeks of planning and rushing around, and the emotional impact of the day. You and your wife may well be exhausted, so don’t feel this reflects anything about the change of status in your relationship.
According to Bluebella’s survey in 2016, just over half of all newly married couples don’t have sex that night. The main cited reason for women was exhaustion, and for men?
You guessed it.
Being too drunk.
This is no indication of the rest of your life. If you can arrange a late checkout, then enjoy the morning after instead.
Plan this together to make sure you both have a great time. If you enjoy different pursuits in your leisure time, then try heading to a location where you both enjoy yourselves. Wherever you’ve picked, research it well before booking. There are some great packages for a variety of budgets at www.honeymoons.com if you feel you need a little inspiration.
It sounds obvious, but it matters. Eat, drink water, give yourself breathing space, and take moments with your partner. The day will fly.
The best thing you can do as a groom is to help choose the right wedding venue. Fortunately for you, we know a certain somewhere that specialises in weddings...
We've helped countless couples plan and celebrate their perfect day. If you're planning an Essex wedding, call 01787 237 250 to speak to our wedding team about showrounds, packages, and trusted suppliers. Alternatively, you can complete our book a showround form, and we'll get back to you ASAP.
We'd love to help you make your big day one that you will cherish.
At The White Hart, our Garden Room offers exactly that: a private, intimate space within our 15th-century coaching inn, set among four and a half acres of garden, for couples who want their big day to feel personal rather than performed.
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