The following are a few quick tips for the maid of honour on organising the hen do.
Usually, the maid of honour will discuss this with the bride (and close friends) and decide on who to invite. As with the wedding invitations, this can be a little tricky as to who is on the list and who isn’t, so talking this over is always a good idea to make sure you don’t miss out anyone who really should be there.
Another good discussion at this point is the level of budget the bride-to-be wishes to set……….
Money is often an issue with hen do’s so this is worth thinking about and discussing from the start of planning. If you are heading abroad or planning something quite exclusive, will this restrict who can come? If the hen do will be costly, then you will need to give the hens plenty of time to decide if they can afford to come (and possibly even save up for it) – this might alter your plans to make sure those with less budget aren’t excluded.
If a larger budget is required, it’s a very good idea to give everyone an idea of where their money will be going in advance. This can be broken down into a rough itinerary showing what activities cost. You don’t want to arrive at the location of the hen do and end up with any arguments about who can afford to do what or what their hard-earned cash has been spent on.
Another quick point worth noting is to make sure that if you are laying out for the hen do in advance, to give the hens a last payment date before any money leaves your own account. This avoids “oh I didn’t know I needed to pay by….” or “I can’t afford to come now….”
It’s usually a good idea to have the hen do about a month before the wedding (don’t ever have the hen night the evening before the wedding!), allowing for travel, any planning required and plenty of time to recover! When you have picked a provisional date, then check that the bride-to-be’s closest friends can make the date. Obviously, early planning helps here as the date may need adjusting a few times to fit in with the invited hen’s previous plans and commitments.
Whilst you may wish to keep the exact location and events a secret from the bride-to-be, it’s still her party, so make sure you don’t choose anything she won’t enjoy. There is no point in planning a bungee jump if the bride is scared of heights, or a spa day if she is more into the great outdoors. Usually, you will know what is in or out with potential planned activities, but if in doubt, ask the bride if there are any major no-gos!
Following on from this, separating the hen do into a daytime event and an evening event can be a sensible option and can provide more flexibility with the hens if they range widely in age or tastes. Whilst there is no way of pleasing everyone invited, you might need to bear in mind that not everyone will want to be downing cocktails in a club at 3.00 am, so try and be flexible towards the hens who are invited and whether they will enjoy themselves (you won’t necessarily be able to please everyone though so if anyone is being awkward remind them who the hen do is actually for!).
If you're feeling stuck on what to fill the day with, a few popular ideas are:
The list could go on.
Our advice? Choose activities that you know the hen will like, and dial it up to the max.
Whilst the majority of people are on Facebook or WhatsApp, etc, where you can create the event and communicate through this, make sure that those who aren’t that tech savvy are kept in the loop. If the hen do is supposed to be a surprise for the bride, don’t invite her into the group event or conversation!!
Whilst the maid of honour’s job can be stressful, do try to enjoy yourself. Very few events don’t have the odd hiccup, but don’t focus on anything that goes wrong; focus on giving the bride-to-be a hen do to remember, and your efforts will be remembered and appreciated.
If you are looking to get married, then The White Hart is the perfect setting. With beautiful grounds, a purpose-built wedding barn and experienced, helpful staff, we can make the big day one to cherish.
We'd love to speak with you about your big day. Get in touch with us by either booking a showround or calling us on 01787 237 250.
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